Pet peeves. The topic came up recently in a discussion with some other writers on Facebook. This one was specifically about the spoken and written language – English to be precise.
Now you need to know that I am over sixty. That makes me an official grey-hair (although I keep it red to match my fiery personality). My years have earned me the right to be curmudgeonly, a right I intend to exercise with abandon.
Along with those grey/red hairs come some attitudes and opinions to complement them – that is to say set-in-my-ways and fiery. And I likely have a pet peeve for every hair that hasn’t fallen out yet. Fortunately for you, the only ones I will rant about today have to do with English. Even so, some are likely to cause some smoldering resentment and maybe even a few flames of disagreement. Good!
My biggest pet peeve, aside from servers in restaurants who chew gum, with their mouths open yet, (ugh, gag) is ‘youse’. “Do youse want ice cream with your pie?” “Are youse going to the game tomorrow?” Hey, nincompoops, don’t you know that the plural of ‘you’ is ‘you’? Yeah, I know it doesn’t make sense. So what? Didn’t your teachers tell you English doesn’t always follow its own rules? I cringe every time I hear it. It’s an assault on my ears. It’s just plain wrong – wrong, I tell you.
A more recent abomination is ‘bored of’ when it ought to be ‘bored with’. What did you say? Everybody says it now (and writes it, too)? Yeah. I know. That’s what has me steamed.
Oh, and don’t get me started on ‘Who’s the most important person in the world. It’s all about me, me, me. “Me and Sam went to the movies, me and Dad had a fight, me and … well you get the picture. I was taught it is always polite, to say nothing of correct, to put the other first. And by the way, it’s not ‘me and’, it’s Dad and I’ or “Sam and I’. What’s wrong with you? Were you born in a barn? Didn’t you ever go to school?
Another one. “He stinks more than me.” Nope. Wrong, too. It’s “He stinks more than I.” Why? Because you know that if you said the next word aloud it would be ‘do’. “He stinks more than I do.” But maybe you don’t know that because it isn’t true. Maybe you’ve been sniffing too many perfume samples at the mall and it’s addled your brain so now you stink more than I.
Oh, and ‘saw’ is not only a woodworking tool. “I seen that guy,” is NOT okay, okay? It’s “I saw that guy,” all right? Got it? Don’t forget it. There’s going to be a pop quiz.
Really, is the f-bomb the only adjective left in the English language? Or has the mean IQ devolved so much no one under twenty-five can remember any others. I thought we were supposed to be getting smarter. Hmph.
Phew! I’m so glad I got all that off my chest. I feel so much better.
Did I miss any of your favourites? Add it to the list. We’ll commiserate over a nice cup of tea.
So some of you want to take me on, do you? Well bring it on. This old bag can take it. Sock it to me. Look down your noses at me and tell me language is a living thing, that it evolves and changes, that I ought to get with the times. Phooey on that. I like my ivory tower just fine, thank you very much. Phfftt!
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Yvonne Hertzberger is a Contributing Author at Indies Unlimited and author of Back From Chaos and Through Kestrel’s Eyes, Books One and Two of Earth’s Pendulum, an Epic fantasy trilogy. For more information please see the IU Bio page and her blog @ http:/yvonnehertzberger.com
